Photo by Corentin Marzin on Unsplash
Many of the men and women I work with are struggling in their relationships. It is likely a relationship with their partner, but not always. Sometimes it’s a relationship with a family member, boss, co-worker, or neighbor. In almost all cases, it’s a clash between the way men and women do relationships. So I decided to write a book. After more than 15 years of working with clients and addressing relationship issues, it’s time to take what I’ve learned beyond the walls of my office.

Have you ever wondered if you are in the right relationship? At some point while you are dating, you are going to wonder if this relationship is right for you, if this partner is truly THE ONE. How do you know if you are making a good decision or if you are blinded the honeymoon phase of the relationship? There are lots of articles online that help you identify unhappy relationships or toxic people. But, if you are in the honeymoon phase everything could look much rosier than they will be later. So, how can you tell the difference?

One afternoon in late November, my husband and I were sitting in an exam room waiting for the neurologist to return. Fred had already had an extensive neurological exam and, sitting there in silence, I could see the worry and fear on my husband’s face. Eighteen months earlier he had started having muscle twitches in his arms and chest, but the neurologist at the time couldn’t find anything else wrong and diagnosed him with “benign muscle fasciculations.” Likely temporary, minor muscle twitches—nothing to worry about.

2016-04-08 16.13.38 Meet my German Shepherd, Echo. He’s loyal and bonded to me. He is also protective and shows good judgment about other people. His favorite activity is to catch or fetch balls I throw for him. He does it like it’s his job—with intensity and passion. Echo sets a good example for us all.

These past four weeks have been a bit of a rollercoaster for me. Before starting the Red Zone, everything was humming along pretty well. I’d had stressors and dealt with them easier than usual. I was focusing on important stuff and getting things done. I was happy. And, then I wasn’t, but I didn’t know what was going on. It didn’t feel like TLP was responsible because what I felt I’d felt before. I was low energy, fuzzy headed, irritable, and in the grip of fear. It was one of those times I only understood what was happening when I came out of it.

I was bingeing on “The Good Wife” and a scene between Alicia Florrick and Rose, Peter Florrick’s campaign manager, struck me. Hard. Alicia asked Rose if she ever wondered what would have happened if she made a different choice. Rose said it wouldn’t have mattered; Alicia would have ended up in the same place or in a place much like the one she is in now. Alicia wondered what life was all about. Rose answered that when you get to a place where you wonder what life is about, you have stumbled upon a Truth.

If you have read my earlier posts, you know I'm doing The Listening Program. This was my first week in the Orange Zone with TLP. I was warned things might start happening. Boy, have they! I took the last two weeks of the year off, so I had plenty of time to play, work, and explore. I read, "Essentialism" by Greg McKeown. I watched all 6 Star Wars movies. (Haven't seen the new one, yet, but I'm ready.) And, of course, I spent time with friends and family.

If you have read my previous posts, you know I've had a tough year. A couple of months ago, I decided to focus on taking care of myself more intentionally. In addition to traditional advice, such as eat better and exercise more, I started The Listening Program. As of this weekend, I've completed 4 weeks of the program. Here is a summary of what has happened: