💕 3 Communication Tips for an Easier Holiday Season

I recently posed the question, “What’s a positive change you want to make in your relationship?” All the responses I got were focused on communication, everybody wanted to communicate better. As it turns out faulty communication is a top relationship problem.

I couldn’t think of a better topic to address during the holidays. What can be more stressful than arguing during a time when everyone is expected to be bright and cheery?

Here are 3 tips for making your romantic relationship a little less stressful and a little more romantic this holiday season.

1. Listen more and talk less. Listening is something we think we do easily, but we are rarely actually listening. Instead, we are usually thinking of what we are going to say next. To help you listen better challenge yourself to ask a follow-up question about what your partner just said before you add anything to conversation. Another tip for being a better listener is to focus on how your partner is feeling, rather than on what he or she is actually saying. Make your next statement a comment on his or her feelings.
   
   
2. Stop talking if you just want to be right. There is an old saying, “You can be right, or you can be married.” Let it go. It will be hard at first, but arguing over things that are not all that important will ruin any good relationship. Examples of arguments to let go would be (a) which route to take to the party, (b) being upset for being a few minutes late, or (c) insisting that you DID tell them and THEY forgot.
   
   
3. Have your partner’s back. This means when you are with others, you say positive, supportive things about your partner and you avoid saying anything (even in jest) that is negative or potentially embarrassing—no teasing, no telling everyone your partner’s latest guffaw, nothing that your partner could even remotely worry about or object to. The goal here is to make your partner believe that he or she is the best person in the world and you want everyone in earshot to know it.

Number 3 is actually the secret sauce. 😉 Act as if your partner is the best and most important person in the world. That’s what you thought of him or her when you first got together and it was one of the reasons the two of you got along so well initially. Return to that idea. Even though they are flawed, they are a good person and a great person for you. 💘