You’re calm, reasonable, and explaining your point clearly—so why does the argument keep getting worse? Why is it that the more you talk, the more you're talked out of your original point? The truth is, over-explaining doesn’t create understanding; it erases your power. Here’s how to stop doing it.

Remember when you first met someone and you felt that spark? The two of you would find ways to spend time together, and it was FUN.

If you stayed in the relationship, however, the fun slowly faded. Even in a secure relationship, too much routine can make a long-term relationship feel boring, almost...

A client of mine, Susie (not her real name) struggles with getting all the details in her life just right. Every time she misses deadlines, makes a typos, or loses something important, she feels ashamed and humiliated and asks questions like, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ and ‘Why am I so stupid?’ She ask...

I confess...I'm a self-help junkie. Not something most psychologists are into, surprisingly, but here I am. I read my first self-help book in grade school. I had a hard time understanding it (I was about 11 🤣), but I wanted to learn more about how to talk to people because I was so shy. I could see ...

The first book I ever suggested to a client, and one I still recommend 20 years later, is The Four Agreements. One of the agreements is “Don’t take things personally.”

This is the one people struggle with most. When someone says or does something upsetting, it feels personal because it hurts us. To...

Long before I was a psychologist, I had a job as an administrator at a CPA firm. The two male partners who ran the firm were difficult and unreasonable in many ways. But, I had a job, the other people who worked there were good to work with, and the clients were diverse and amazing. [One client was ...