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Authentic Connections, Boundaries, and Relationships

A Guide to Setting Boundaries boundaries people pleasing self-improvement May 22, 2024

I'm excited to share insights on a topic that's made a big difference in my life: setting boundaries. In a deep-dive conversation, I sat down with Melissa Wolak, an expert in boundary-setting.

Melissa highlighted that boundaries aren't just about saying no—they're a big yes to valuing our time and ...

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Holding a Grudge vs Setting Boundaries boundaries effective communication emotional health perspective Apr 07, 2024

Recently, the teenage daughter of a client of mine accused her mother of holding a grudge against her grandmother (my client’s mother). My client had a difficult relationship with her mother and had, over the course of her therapy with me, set up various rules she enforced frequently because of her ...

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Are You In a Blame Game? effective communication emotional health healthy relationships Feb 29, 2024

I’ve been thinking a lot about blame recently. 

I have a client who fights with his wife A LOT. And, neither one of them seems to be able to stop the fights.

I’ve pointed out to him that he blames her for nearly everything he’s feeling.

If she doesn’t like something he did and she tells him, he b...

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How do I set boundaries around my partner's boundaries? people-pleasers perspective relationship advice self-improvement Nov 10, 2023

Dear Dr. Julie: My husband of 43 yrs has worked most of our marriage away from home: here for 2 weeks and gone for 2-3 months. I pretty much raised our 3 children alone. He retired in 2018 and has gone from being away from home most of the time to being home almost ALL the time. Has prioritized self...

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How to Tell if You Are Being Selfish effective communication people pleasing people-pleasers self-improvement Nov 03, 2023

What scares you? Does being thought of as selfish scare you?

Let's talk about selfishness--what it is and how to tell if you are being selfish. It’s a concern I frequently hear from my clients.

The difficulty with figuring out this question is that it is not an either or proposition. It’s a balan...

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Why Am I So Bothered by Other People's Emotions? ama ask me anything effective communication people pleasing perspective Sep 05, 2023

Dear Dr. Julie: My husband is throwing his anxiety on me. How do I change this? Thank you!!

--Anxious Annie

Dear Anxious Annie: This is one of my most frequent questions. People really struggle around how not to be so affected by other people's emotions.

When our partners, friends, or family memb...

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