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How to Be Authentic Without Making a Fool of Yourself

authenticity people pleasing people-pleasers self-improvement self-worth Jul 17, 2024
How to Be Authentic Without Making a Fool of Yourself

Getting caught up in trying to be who others want you to be is easy. But deep down, being genuine is how to feel truly fulfilled. I want to share some insights on what it means to live authentically, overcome challenges, and take real steps just to be you while staying true to your core beliefs.

What is Authentic Living?

Being authentic means allowing your honest thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to show through - not pretending to be someone you're not. It's embracing all parts of your unique personality and what matters most to you and expressing who you are in a way that is consistent with your beliefs and values.

Why Authentic Living Matters

Living authentically gives you more self-respect, forms meaningful connections, and gives you a deeper sense of purpose. You attract people who appreciate the real you, flaws and all. Authentic living allows you to be truly free.

Challenges to Being Authentic

For many people, a couple of things get in the way:

Low Self-Confidence

Low self-worth makes it tough to be your true self. Worrying about being judged, criticized, or rejected for showing who you are can lead you to put on an act to try and please others instead. You might censor your real thoughts and feelings out of fear they won't be accepted.

People-Pleasing Tendencies

Some have a strong need for approval from others. Suppressing your authentic personality traits, opinions, or desires is tempting if you think they'll clash with what people want from you. You conform to expectations rather than being genuine.

Emotions vs Values

Sometimes, it's normal to experience hard emotions like anger, jealousy, or insecurity. The challenge is separating those temporary feelings from your core values and beliefs. Acting solely on passing emotions at the moment could mean doing things against your integrity.

Lack of Self-Awareness

Many people haven't taken the time for self-reflection to understand their true selves. Without being in touch with one's genuine thoughts, emotions, interests, and principles, it's easy to slip into inauthentic behavior without realizing it.

Fear of Boundaries

Setting boundaries to protect your authenticity often feels scary. You might worry about rocking the boat or losing connections if you stop doing what others want from you. Speaking up for your true self can feel unsafe.

Steps to Living Authentically

  1. Get In Touch With Your Feelings
    Notice the different emotions you feel, even uncomfortable ones. Writing about your experiences in a journal builds self-awareness.
  2. Know Your Core Values
    Think about the principles that really matter most to you. Ask: "What values do I want to live by?" and "What beliefs guide my choices?"
  3. Respond With Integrity
    When stuff comes up, pause before reacting. Think about responding in a way that aligns with your values, not just based on a temporary emotion.
  4. Explore Your True Interests
    Look beyond roles or surface-level hobbies. Find activities, causes, and creative outlets that feel true to your genuine self.
  5. Get Comfortable With Change
    Living authentically takes practice, which may feel awkward at first. Be patient—that uncomfortable feeling means you're growing.
  6. Build a Supportive Circle
    Surround yourself with people who accept and encourage you to live as your true self. Let go of fake connections to create space for real ones.

Start Your Journey Today

Discovering and living your authentic self is an ongoing journey. But you can start right now by:

  • Writing about times you've hidden your true self to fit in
  • Listing your core values to understand yourself better
  • Doing something small that expresses who you are

One tool that can really help with self-reflection and self-discovery is the Reflections app. It provides journaling prompts and exercises to increase self-awareness around your values, emotions, and authentic interests. Check out the Reflection App here. 

You can also learn more about your values by taking my course, "The Power of Knowing Your Values."

I know showing all of you can feel scary, but you deserve the freedom that comes with it. You matter, and the world needs your imperfect, amazing, unique self. Remember, be kind to yourself on this journey.  

Let's keep this conversation going by sharing thoughts below! If you need more guidance, check out my latest video on How to Be Authentic Without Making a Fool of Yourself.

 

 

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When you buy products or services through links on my site or in my emails, I may earn a small affiliate commission. However, I only recommend products that I would use for myself and those I care about.Ā Ā All videos, articles, and statements made by me (Dr. Julie Shafer) and/or published by me anywhere online are for information and educational purposes only. Because everyoneā€™s situation is different, please consult the appropriate professional before taking action based on information from this site or other publications by Dr. Julie Shafer. Reliance on information contained on my site, emails, or other platforms (e.g., FaceBook, YouTube, Medium, etc.) is solely at your own risk.