Why Do We Lose Control of Our Emotions, and How Can We Find Balance?

Have you ever had one of those days when emotions seem to take over, making you feel out of control? Emotional dysregulation can deeply impact our daily lives and relationships, whether snapping at someone you love, feeling anxious or overwhelmed, or bottling up feelings until they burst. Understanding why we sometimes lose control of our emotions—and learning how to handle them in healthy ways—can be life-changing.

What Is Emotional Dysregulation?

Emotional dysregulation happens when we struggle to manage our emotions in stable and balanced ways. It’s normal to have strong emotional reactions sometimes, but when those reactions are frequent, intense, or feel uncontrollable, they can take a toll on our well-being. Here’s a look at three common types of emotional dysregulation and how to regain control when emotions seem too overwhelming.

Overreaction: When Emotions Feel Too Big

Have you ever reacted to a minor inconvenience as if it were a major problem? Overreaction can lead to intense anger, frustration, or sadness over things that might not seem as big in hindsight. Often, this response is triggered by past negative experiences that resurface unexpectedly, blending past and present emotions into an overwhelming mix.

When you feel an intense reaction bubbling up, pause and ask yourself if this situation reminds you of something from the past. Reflecting on this can help you respond calmly and prevent your past from overshadowing your present.

Suppression: Ignoring Emotions Rather Than Dealing With Them

Suppression may seem like an easy way to avoid unwanted emotions, but in reality, pushing down feelings can lead to greater stress over time. Ignoring what we feel may lead to physical symptoms like headaches or tension, and often, these bottled-up emotions eventually burst out, affecting our health and relationships.

Find healthy ways to release your emotions, like journaling or sharing with a friend or therapist. These activities can help you process feelings gradually, reducing the buildup of stress.

Acting on Impulse: Reacting Without Considering the Consequences

Impulsive, emotional reactions—saying or doing things in the heat of the moment without thinking them through—can lead to regret, harm our relationships, and may even encourage us to make reckless choices. Often, impulsive reactions stem from wanting to escape an uncomfortable feeling as quickly as possible.

Instead of acting on impulse, practice being mindful in the moment. Take a few deep breaths, notice your feelings, and give yourself a second or two to consider how you want to respond.

Three Steps to Rebalance Your Emotions

1. Practice Mindful Awareness: Pay attention to your feelings without judgment. Recognizing your emotions is the first step toward managing them.

2. Label Your Emotions: Identify and name what you’re feeling. Labeling emotions like "anger," "sadness," or "anxiety" gives you greater clarity and can reduce the intensity of what you’re experiencing. It can also give you that needed second to consider what to do.

3. Find Healthy Outlets: Activities like exercise, journaling, or time in nature are great ways to process emotions safely. These outlets not only relieve stress but also help you release emotions constructively.

Gain insight into your emotional triggers by practicing these techniques and you will build emotional resilience, leading to better relationships, mental clarity, and an improved quality of life. If you want to dive deeper into these topics and learn practical tools to manage emotional ups and downs, check out my latest video, where we explore emotional dysregulation in detail.

Watch the full video below, and discover how to control your emotions today!